I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
