her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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