Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
