I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
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