my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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