Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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