Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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