I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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