sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
