hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
