there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She announced her abortion via fbk
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
A+ Viking dick
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