is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
