the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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