I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
