And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
