I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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