I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
