its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This is my gift to your gina
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
