I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
