i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
