she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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