There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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