this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
