it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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