By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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