how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
