I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
