are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize