Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
