hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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