I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
