I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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