MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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