so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
