why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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