I think scott just propositioned me for sex
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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