Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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