at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
