I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
