Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
