When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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