the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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