It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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