im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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