yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
