I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
