So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
