Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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