I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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