It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
