I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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