smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
