Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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