all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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