Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
