is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
