Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
