an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
