Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
