guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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