it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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