lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
