i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
