Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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