Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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