Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
